False Hope

Well, what do you know about False hope?

If according to urban dictionary, false hope is when you look forward to something that has a strong chance of not happening and you may or may not know it. According to me, false hope is when you feel something that it's yours to get but in the end, it's someone else, that is false hope and NO, I'm not talking a false hope in the relationship between men and women. Other than a relationship, we should know that false hope can come in a variety of form. For instance, false hope in an interview for a job or for industrial training (LI). I come to realise even the company calling you for god know how many times for your application but still it will not ensure you to get a place there. Why did you do this to me ??? I was very disappointed and sad 😔. Maybe, it's my fault too because I already set a high expectation after getting calls from your company. But still, you shouldn't give me a false hope at the first place and y'know what, there is a saying that 'false hope is worse than despair' and you giving me that right now. I am beyond hurt. I keep coming to the office back and forth to check whether I already get an offer letter from your company or not, hours by hours checking my mail to see an email from your HR but no, I didn't get any single notification from your side even though I already sent a mail to ask regarding this issue to your HR. I feel anxious and nervous. To make it worst, I even had a dream about it. Tsk that show how hard I'm thinking about a placement for doing the internship.

Despite that, I will stay positive and by next week if I still do not get any email from your HR then I should give up on your company. Next, aim for one of the broadcasting company in this country. Don't give me any false hope anymore, guys because I might not know whether I can face it for second times or not because every rose has its thorn. May Allah lead us to the right path as He is the best planner after all. InshaAllah, God is enough for us and how excellent a Guardian He is - 3:173 💮

For now, I will remain calm and control my composure at my best state I can. Pray for my internship placement guys. I really need everyone's du'a.

Hire me because if you do not hire me, see, I have 7 dwarfs to help me. Lol I'm a very dedicated person :))) 

P/s: I'm having my first false hope syndrome at this moment because of you guys!!! 😢. 

Just Because

I just thinking about something when these words came across my mind :

"Jangan kejam dengan diri sendiri"

or in another words it means

''Don't be cruel to yourself''

I still clearly remember where that quotes came from. A few years ago, I read a malay novel but forgot the title and the author wrote this saying because the male character in the novel facing a really huge problem. He said this to his friend in which literally mean that he don't want to hurt himself anymore. Where enough is enough, stop this suffer imeddiately.

And I'm not at my weakest point yet. Even I fall, I still manage to stand up. I have very high self motivation. Whenever I am in the worst state of my life, I, Aalia Shahira will still shining as diamonds should shine. These words just to remind me that whatever happen in your life, don't ever ever thinking to be cruel to myself. Sometimes we tend to hurt ourself rather than hurting others. Kononnye, nak jaga hati orang tapi hati sendiri yang rabak . Lol tak payah nak baik sangat. Zaman sekarang kalau kau buat baik pon, orang senang pijak dan perkudakan kau. Better kau jaga diri sendiri dengan sebaik mungkin dari manusia-manusia spesies begitu. So, I have decided, I ONLY HAVE ONE HEART and I DON'T WANT TO HURT MY HEART until bleeding just because of someone else. Self love is important - Note to others. Orang selalu cakap perempuan ni lemah. Putus cinta sikit, perempuanlah yang paling merana manakala para lelaki memulakan langkah panjang meneruskan aktiviti mempermainkan perempuan. I didn't say all man, a few, and not all women are pious (tak termasuk pisau cukur, homewrecker dan seangkatan dengannya). Jadi, kalau putus cinta, I cadangkan para wanita untuk bertukar menjadi seorang yang cekal dan berkeyakinan. Jangan ingat sorang laki tinggalkan kita takkan ada lelaki lain yang baik pula. Ramai lelaki baik. I pun ingat dulu takde dah lelaki baik sebab I percaya dengan ayat "all good guy are taken". Ramai lelaki baik I kenal dan minat semua dah berbini so that's why boleh terfikir begitu. Ada je lelaki baik cuma kita tak jumpa lagi. Husnuzon akak-akak semua ye. Jap, apa I melalut cakap soal patah hati cintalah apalah padahal I (read: serious) tak pernah bercinta sepanjang duapuluhtiga tahun hidup. Ohh takk I cuma nak bagi contoh yang mudah sebab kita biasa kejam dengan diri sendiri sebab cinta sometimes. 

Oleh itu, kalau korang berada dalam masalah yang besar ke, putus cinta ke, apa ke, stop hurting and stop being cruel to yourself. Mengadu pada Tuhan dulu, minta petunjuk and calm yourself. Bila hati tenang, fikiran pun tenang, InshaAllah everything gonna be fine and alright. Allah pun tak kejam dengan kita, kenapa kita perlu kejam dengan diri sendiri kan ? I pon sometimes macam tu juga tapi satu benda yang I selalu buat I akan cakap dengan diri sendiri takpun dengan diding ke just to sort off my problem and y'know what ? Magically, I feel better after that. I senyum, tarik nafas dan yesssss let's live your life to the fullest, I told my self.

Jadi, I tinggalkan korang dengan gambar I zaman freshie di UKM sambil berfikir, ' ermm ada tak lelaki kat Malaysia ni muka macam Christos Cholidis yang very the hunk tu ? '

P/s: Kejam dengan diri sendiri pon tak boleh, apatah lagi kejam dengan orang lain. Treat others as you want them to treat you  ❤